The conversation was going great.
You were having fun, there was some teasing, some flirting, and you were close to arranging that date because everything was going so well…
Except that suddenly, she changed her behavior completely and ghosted you.
Let’s break it to you: that was a shit test (and you failed).
Luckily, you are about to discover everything about shit tests, including what they are, why you get them, types of shit testing, and of course, how to pass them.
So, get comfortable, and let’s get into it.
Shortcuts to skip right into what you want to know:
Shortcuts to skip right into what you want to know:
What is a shit test?
A shit test, just like the name implies, is just a test that (normally) a woman makes to a man to see if they are a good fit.
It can come as a statement, question, or comment.
Sometimes, a message from the man will trigger this subconscious response from the woman to protect herself in case you’re not good for her.
Others, the woman will be somewhat of a bitch and keep shit testing the guy if she feels superior to him.It sounds kinda rough, yes, but don’t get your panties in a twist, because soon you’ll learn how to pass them and avoid them like a champion.
Why do women shit test?
As said before, what a woman wants is to ensure that the guy is indeed a good match for her.
So, a shit test will be a less friendly way to frame, evaluate, judge, or measure the character of the man and see if it fits her expectations.
The real question is what detonates a shit test and if it’s a good thing or a bad one.
No matter how much things change, women still want the same: an independent, confident man that’s at least equal to her, and can handle tough situations without crumbling.
So, if your value is lower than hers, and she notices, brace for a shit test.
Also, if your value is around hers or even slightly up, but she isn’t convinced about you, it’s most likely that she throws a shit test.
However, a difference in value isn’t the only reason to get tested.
There are three main scenarios when you can be shit tested:
- When your value or status seems to flake.
- When your congruence fails.
- When she doubts your appearance.
Being tested means that she has some interest in you and she’s still replying.
As long as she stays in the conversation, it is a good thing.
However, in the hierarchy of texting, getting a shit test can be closer to being ghosted than to getting laid.
(Only if you’re not wise about it )
So, you can say it’s not bad, but it’s also not ideal in the conversation since it can set you back several steps.
Or hurt the whole interaction without chances to fix it.
The good thing is that you can turn it in your favor.
And the best part is that you can avoid this situation.
We’ll get there in a minute.
While a shit test is a way of keeping the flirting going and you can always turn things around, an insult just shows her bad side.
Remember that a shit test is a way for her to take precautions and make sure you are worthy.
If she throws a shit test, you take it at face value like an insult and catch on her bait… GAME OVER.
This is why it’s important that you know how to read the situation.
In a normal scenario, she will never go from shit tests to insults unless:
- you insulted her first without noticing and she replied in the same measure,
- she’s lashing out at you due to external reasons.
In both cases, you might save the interaction by trying to clear things up but, if the bad vibes keep coming, she’s not for you.
Intensity of tests
When you have to pass a shit test, two things are crucial:
Identifying the type of test
Knowing the intensity
Depending on how the situation unfolded, you can find two types of intensities:
Teasing or hard.
Keep this in mind for when we reach how to pass shit tests.
Knowing the intensity and approaching according to that, makes the difference between success and failure.
Here’s a small cheat sheet in the meantime with the best methods to deal with each severity of shit test.
- Flipping the script
- Agree with them
- Agree + Amplify
- Disagree + Amplify
Hovalo Tip: Become a real expert on spotting Shit Tests and their intensity by signing to Online Dating Courses or watch our video where we also dive deep into explaining more about tests.
Types of tests
Different situations create different shit tests.
The first step to successfully dealing with a test is to identify it.
Then, you have to know which kind it is, so you can pick the best way to deal with it and pass.
If you look back to this article, there were 3 main reasons why she starts shit testing.
Therefore, you can find 3 different types of tests:
Yes, you guessed it.
A power or status test will come when she’s still not sold on you as her partner because she feels that you’re not good enough.
In other words, she feels superior.
It can also happen when she feels a difference in interests before she deems you worthy.
This can go from banal issues to opposing resistance to a night together.
A congruency test will happen when the woman perceives a difference between the image that you portray, and your actions.
Let’s say that your bio mentions something about being super healthy.
And for your first date, you suggest going to KFC.
This is going to set off her alarms immediately, and she will want to know what part is fake: if being healthy, or loving fried chicken.
Hovalo tip: KFC is a BAD first date even if you love it. Better check out our video on good date ideas and thank us later 😉
Do you know the best part of online dating?
That you can portray more value through your profile.
The bad thing about this is that if you exaggerate, it can come across as lying.
And what happens when it looks like you’re lying?
Shit test incoming.
How to pass her shit tests
The moment you’ve been waiting for!
Now you know how to identify a shit test, the different types, and their intensities.
It’s time to learn the ways to deal with her tests and pass them like an expert dater.
Avoid shit tests
You are now armed to identify and pass shit tests.
Wouldn’t it be nice to skip them at all?
Yes, it would.
For this, you have two fronts to focus on: value and congruency.
When your value is noticeably superior to hers, she won’t be shit testing you because she knows her place.
And she might even be afraid of losing you.
Reach this spot by building up value from your profile and keep growing it through the messages.
This will show and remind her that you are confident, self-reliant, and charming.
While you’re making sure that she realizes how high-value you are, pay attention to the little details and what they say about you.
If your value is up the clouds, but she finds inconsistencies, questions will come your way.
So, when you make your profile and start texting, make sure that you’re not trying to be someone entirely different and you’ll be safe.
Shit tests are a pain in the ass, no doubt about it.
However, that doesn’t turn them into obstacles, but opportunities to create a better conversation and show the best of you.
Remember that communication with women isn’t a straight line, so grab a handful of patience, read the situations properly, and work towards building your value even before you start talking.
Just like with any other skill, with a little practice, you’ll be able to spot, pass, and avoid shit tests like a real champion.
If you want to become a real expert on dealing with shit tests, you can check out our course Online Dating Secrets and learn in-depth how to master this part of flirting and find real life examples.
See you at the next one!
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