The conversation was going great. 

You were having fun, there was some teasing, some flirting, and you were close to arranging that date because everything was going so well…

Except that suddenly, she changed her behavior completely and ghosted you.

Let’s break it to you: that was a shit test (and you failed).

Luckily, you are about to discover everything about shit tests, including what they are, why you get them, types of shit testing, and of course, how to pass them.

So, get comfortable, and let’s get into it.

Shortcuts to skip right into what you want to know:

Shortcuts to skip right into what you want to know:

What is a shit test?

A shit test, just like the name implies, is just a test that (normally) a woman makes to a man to see if they are a good fit. 

It can come as a statement, question, or comment.

Sometimes, a message from the man will trigger this subconscious response from the woman to protect herself in case you’re not good for her.

Others, the woman will be somewhat of a bitch and keep shit testing the guy if she feels superior to him.

It sounds kinda rough, yes, but don’t get your panties in a twist, because soon you’ll learn how to pass them and avoid them like a champion.

Why do women shit test?

As said before, what a woman wants is to ensure that the guy is indeed a good match for her.

So, a shit test will be a less friendly way to frame, evaluate, judge, or measure the character of the man and see if it fits her expectations.

The real question is what detonates a shit test and if it’s a good thing or a bad one.

Value and Being Tested

No matter how much things change, women still want the same: an independent, confident man that’s at least equal to her, and can handle tough situations without crumbling.

So, if your value is lower than hers, and she notices, brace for a shit test.

Also, if your value is around hers or even slightly up, but she isn’t convinced about you, it’s most likely that she throws a shit test.

However, a difference in value isn’t the only reason to get tested.

When Will You Get a Shit Test

There are three main scenarios when you can be shit tested:

  • When your value or status seems to flake.
  • When your congruence fails.
  • When she doubts your appearance.

Is it Good to Get a Shit Test?

Being tested means that she has some interest in you and she’s still replying.

As long as she stays in the conversation, it is a good thing.

However, in the hierarchy of texting, getting a shit test can be closer to being ghosted than to getting laid.

(Only if you’re not wise about it 😉)

So, you can say it’s not bad, but it’s also not ideal in the conversation since it can set you back several steps.

Or hurt the whole interaction without chances to fix it.

The good thing is that you can turn it in your favor.

And the best part is that you can avoid this situation. 

We’ll get there in a minute.


Difference Between Shit Test and Insult

While a shit test is a way of keeping the flirting going and you can always turn things around, an insult just shows her bad side.

Remember that a shit test is a way for her to take precautions and make sure you are worthy.

If she throws a shit test, you take it at face value like an insult and catch on her bait… GAME OVER.

This is why it’s important that you know how to read the situation.

In a normal scenario, she will never go from shit tests to insults unless:

  • you insulted her first without noticing and she replied in the same measure,
  • she’s lashing out at you due to external reasons.

In both cases, you might save the interaction by trying to clear things up but, if the bad vibes keep coming, she’s not for you.

Intensity of tests

When you have to pass a shit test, two things are crucial:

Identifying the type of test

Knowing the intensity

Depending on how the situation unfolded, you can find two types of intensities:

Teasing or hard.

Keep this in mind for when we reach how to pass shit tests.

Knowing the intensity and approaching according to that, makes the difference between success and failure.

Here’s a small cheat sheet in the meantime with the best methods to deal with each severity of shit test.

  • Flipping the script
  • Storytelling
  • Ignoring
  • Agree with them
  • Shaming 
  • Ignoring
  • Agree + Amplify
  • Disagree + Amplify

Hovalo Tip: Become a real expert on spotting Shit Tests and their intensity by signing to Online Dating Courses or watch our video where we also dive deep into explaining more about tests.

Types of tests

Different situations create different shit tests.

The first step to successfully dealing with a test is to identify it. 

Then, you have to know which kind it is, so you can pick the best way to deal with it and pass.

If you look back to this article, there were 3 main reasons why she starts shit testing.

Therefore, you can find 3 different types of tests:

  • Power/Status

  • Congruency


Yes, you guessed it.

A power or status test will come when she’s still not sold on you as her partner because she feels that you’re not good enough.

In other words, she feels superior.

It can also happen when she feels a difference in interests before she deems you worthy.

This can go from banal issues to opposing resistance to a night together.


How to pass her shit tests

The moment you’ve been waiting for!

Now you know how to identify a shit test, the different types, and their intensities.

It’s time to learn the ways to deal with her tests and pass them like an expert dater.


Just because things get difficult doesn’t mean you gotta run for the hills.

Agreeing with what she says is a good way to prove your character.

Keep in mind that often, a shit test is her excuse to frame things in a way where she’s the one in control.

This means that you have to be smart about how you agree and reframe things back into your favor without poking the dragon.


Agree + Amplify

A fast way to not just pass the test, but revert the mood to something fun and flirty, is to agree and amplify.

When you exaggerate things, you can bring in some humor and make it hard for her to read the situation.

In most cases, this will bring back the good vibes.

If she can’t let it drop and follow the flow, she’ll come across as needy.

Do you want a needy woman? 

Just asking…


Disagree + Amplify

Telling her a plain “No” can ignite her suspicions further when you deny or disagree with her shit test.

For those cases, amplifying will come in handy.

Just like with Agree and Amplify, exaggerating will bring in some humor and make it harder for her to read the situation.

When you do this, don’t forget to frame the answer in a way that favors you.


Take things to the next level by coming up with a whole story that entertains her and makes her forget instantly what the deal was.

When you do this in a successful way, you’ll also be building value by showing her creativity and inventive.



Ignoring her definitely works better in real life, where she can’t scroll back and point out that you didn’t reply to something.

However, it’s not set in stone that you must text back to everything.

So, you can change the topic to something lighter/funnier/more interesting and get done with it.

It’s possible that in some cases, she doesn’t let go of the issue.

If that happens, you’ll need to use another method to tame the beast.


Flip the Script

For doing this, humor is your best friend.

You have to throw things back at her and “blame” her instead.

Doing so in a funny way will soften the blow, lighten the mood, and help you get back on track with closing her.

If you sound butthurt, things can go down real fast, real hard.



When she gives you a hard shit test, insults you, or keeps shit testing over and over, you can shame or punish her for her behavior.

It’s a harsher method that will turn the interaction serious instantly, so you need to be very precise in knowing when it’s good to use it.

AKA calibrate.

By shaming or punishing, what you’re doing is throwing the problem back at her (without a joke) or letting her know that she’s crossing a line.

Doing this can lead to assuming her guilt, or a fight.

So, be smart about it.


Sometimes, a person isn’t just worthy of your time.

No matter how hot or interesting.

A teasing shit test once in a while can help move forward.

But constant snarky remarks that lead nowhere and are borderline rude?

There’s no excuse to handle or stand it.

If you stumble upon an insecure woman who thinks she has the upper hand at all times despite your efforts, move on to someone who appreciates you.

Thank us later.


Avoid shit tests

You are now armed to identify and pass shit tests.

Wouldn’t it be nice to skip them at all?

Yes, it would.

For this, you have two fronts to focus on: value and congruency.

When your value is noticeably superior to hers, she won’t be shit testing you because she knows her place.

And she might even be afraid of losing you.

Reach this spot by building up value from your profile and keep growing it through the messages. 

This will show and remind her that you are confident, self-reliant, and charming.

While you’re making sure that she realizes how high-value you are, pay attention to the little details and what they say about you.

If your value is up the clouds, but she finds inconsistencies, questions will come your way.

So, when you make your profile and start texting, make sure that you’re not trying to be someone entirely different and you’ll be safe.



Shit tests are a pain in the ass, no doubt about it.

However, that doesn’t turn them into obstacles, but opportunities to create a better conversation and show the best of you.

Remember that communication with women isn’t a straight line, so grab a handful of patience, read the situations properly, and work towards building your value even before you start talking.

Just like with any other skill, with a little practice, you’ll be able to spot, pass, and avoid shit tests like a real champion.

If you want to become a real expert on dealing with shit tests, you can check out our course Online Dating Secrets and learn in-depth how to master this part of flirting and find real life examples.

See you at the next one!

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